018 Dating, Relationships and Diabetes
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My husband Rob joined in on this episode of fitT1Dfoodie to discuss dating, relationships and diabetes. Rob and I met about 13 years ago. At that time, Rob didn’t even really know what diabetes was so you can imagine what it was like to introduce him to life with T1D.
Here are a few questions and answers transcribed from this episode. I fully encourage you to listen (and subscribe) to the podcast to hear how we expand on these topics with our personal stories.
Laura: What did you think when you saw a bucket of needles under my sink?
Rob: I thought you were a drug addict. But, you just told me, “Oh, I’m a type 1 diabetic.” Of course I’d heard of diabetes, but didn’t know much about it. When I went home I did a little bit of googling to see what more I could learn.
Laura: After googling Diabetes, how did you feel?
Rob: I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pretty concerned on day #1. I think when people are in the dating scene they try to stay away from people with incurable diseases, but I was I was willing to see where things were going to go. No one is perfect and basically everyone has some sort of health condition… if they don’t they’re lucky, and they probably will at some point in their lives. I was willing to look past the scary google definitions to learn more about it and if it was something that we could work through.
Rob: Were you worried how I would react when I found out you had diabetes?
Laura: I was beyond worried. I really liked you and I worried what would happen when you realized that I lived with type 1 diabetes. I know I shouldn’t have been worried… but I was worried a guy like you might not like a girl like me.
Laura: Do you think it takes a special kind of person to date or be in a relationship with someone with diabetes?
Rob: Oh yeah, I definitely think so. I put a lot of thought into whether or not it would work out between us. On some days I decided it was not worth the effort because it really takes it takes a lot of patience to handle the low blood sugars… The fact that you might be good most the time but when you miss-judge the insulin, things can go south in a hurry… I think everyone has a point where enough is enough.
Laura: What would you say to another young man or a young woman (living with diabetes) whose partner is starting to have second thoughts?
Rob: Well, I would probably say to first think about what brought the couple together… Diabetes is only one component of the relationship. I think the most important thing is being open and honest. Diabetes is not something to hide from, it’s something to to address. It is part of every day every and every meal. It takes a lot patience and transparency from each person.
Laura: Do you think it’s any easier if both individuals in the relationship have diabetes?
Rob: I think it is easier because when I didn’t have diabetes, and you did… it was a little bit different. You had many concerns and thoughts about the disease that didn’t really cross my mind until after I was diagnosed.
Laura: Would you agree that there are many (social) levels to having type 1 diabetes?
Rob: Oh absolutely! I’m a scientist so I’ll be blunt and say that there’s a lot of misinformation out there too. People have a lot of preconceptions about the disease. For example, when out with friends, someone might say, “Oh you can’t eat that…” It’s not that I can’t eat something, it’s just that I have to inject the right amount of insulin for it.
Words of Wisdom
Laura: we’ve been together for quite awhile now and we’ve been supportive of each other through both the highs and the lows. Rob, do you have any final words of wisdom about relationships and diabetes?
Rob: Well, just to summarize what we’ve talked about, I think communication is important in any relationship. A relationship will likely fail if there’s poor communication between a couple. Diabetes need not consume the entire relationship.
You may follow Rob at www.twitter.com/researcher_rob
RECIPE: Chocolate Strawberry Hearts
In this episode, I mentioned that Rob and I don’t do traditional, Valentine’s Day stuff. We don’t buy chocolates, go out for dinner… or any of the expensive foo foo stuff that makes our wallets scream. Instead, we have fun doing Rob and Laura things like making Chocolate Strawberry Hearts together. CLICK HERE for the recipe.
