My version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

I shared my version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas with my subscribers earlier today and thought it’s a definite blog post! Oh the joys of the holiday season – too much sugar, not enough activity. However, I hope this gives you a giggle. Rob & I wish you a season filled with warm moments and cherished memories.

Confessions of a Hot (Holiday) Mess

Twas the night before Christmas and all ‘round my hips
were Jolly Rancher candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in my freezer with care
in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

While me in my girdle and Rob in chin straps
Had just settled down to our sugar-borne naps.
When down in my belly arose such a clatter
I sprang from our bed to take care of this matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
Tore open the fridge and found our treat stash.
The mint chocolate squares and fresh baked gateau
Sent thoughts of binge bliss from my head to my toes.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
but a marshmallow Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
That delicious euphoria so luscious and slick
I knew in a flash that I’d make myself sick.

The sugar-coated santa, those scrumptious reindeer
I closed my eyes tightly & all I could hear;
“Now T25, now INSANITY, now Shakeology and P90X
On Body Beast, on Slim In 6, on 21 Day Fix.”

From a-top of my scale, I spat southern drawl;
“Dash away pounds, now dash away ya’ll.”
A total hot mess, adorned in purple spandex
I was bulging and bulky from too much excess.

My droll little mouth and my round little belly
Shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word, but went straight online:
Beachbody on Demand is here anytime!

And laying aside my choices of late
I knew I’d be fine; ‘chunky me’ ain’t my fate!
I eased into bed & Rob heard me exclaim,
“I’m back on track baby! No more husky shame!”

And, I mumbled again as I settled down for the night,  
“I’ve got fitness, support and my nutrition done right!  

On January 1st, Rob & I are excited to officially begin the new Master’s Hammer & Chisel fitness & nutrition program! Right now, we’re staying with our respective families for the holidays… Though we’re enjoying ourselves thoroughly & being fairly mindful with our nutrition, it will be great to get back on track. !